Smoke Memories
by Kathey27
Summary: All they had were the stolen moments in between. / Or, They know how the story will end; they've read the last few pages and they know what they'll be given. They know it'll end in blood and tears and pain and death and they welcome it. AU Season 3.


**A/N: Dean and Bela? My first true SPN couple. Yep. And despite the fact that Dean's soul mate lies in either Ruby or Cas – or both, who knows – this pairing, I never grew out of and probably never will. There's just something so bittersweet about this pairing that I crave.**

**This was written for the Doomed Ship Comment Ficathon and the prompt was: **Supernatural, Bela/Dean - _if only we were brave enough to live the lives we stole_**.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, would my heart physically ache every time I so much as thought of how beautiful Dean and Ruby could have been?**

**xxxxxx**

**smoke memories:**

It happens between snippets; little stolen moments that aren't all theirs but are all they can get. They go and touch and kiss and whisper and sigh and live.

It's done in the shadows, pressed against bricks and woods and sheets and grass. It's done softly and slowly and lovely and sweetly. It's done with tear filled eyes that are memorizing what they can while they still can.

(It never lasts more than a few hours until they have to return back to the surface world).

He calls her and she goes to him, healing away his scars and kissing away the pain.

She takes him to the fair and they pretend they're a couple vacationing and it's all so perfect and sweet and sickening and their hearts break the second they have to part.

She calls him and he goes to her, healing away her fears and kissing away the doubt.

He takes her on a ferry ride and they pretend to be a married couple on their third honeymoon and when another pair comments on how perfect they are together the pain amplifies by that much.

xxxxxx

It happens between weeks and days; small captured seconds that don't belong to them but are all they can have. They go and smile and laugh and scream and love.

It's done in secret, spent in motels rooms with decaying walls and hotel rooms with gold handles and car seats that are never warm enough and benches that are never small enough. It's done cruelly and selfishly and greedily and lustily. It's done with fear filled eyes that are trying to hold on to something that was never going to stay anyways.

(It never lasts long enough for either of them and then it's time to face the real world).

He visits her and she smiles softly, pulling him inside her apartment and trying to blink back tears.

She takes him to a museum and beams at how wonderful and interested he is and even though he gets them lost somewhere in the nineteenth century portraits and has the audacity to blame her she still feels her breath catch when he's gone the next day.

She visits him and he grins widely, pulling her inside of the empty motel room and holding down tears.

He takes her to dinner and is in awe of how beautiful and wonderful she is in day old jeans and even though it starts to pour and they get stuck by a broken down Impala and she blames it on him he still feels his heart clench when he wakes up to cold sheets.

xxxxxx

It happens because they're them and they like the bright and the fire and the pain and the love.

It's done closed off from everyone else because they were never all that good with keeping up with everyone else.

He goes to her because he's scared and desperate and she soothes it all away.

She goes to him because she's lonely and greedy and he makes it all better.

They know how the story will end; they've read the last few pages and they know what they'll be given. They know it'll end in blood and tears and pain and death and they welcome it.

They could have been something else. They could have packed up and spent those last moments together because they deserve a _happy_ ending, not an ending and they could have been in love.

They could have been a lot of things. But then again, they were never all that good with living outside of the lies they told themselves. They were never all that good for much else.


End file.
